Monday, February 23, 2015

How a breakup benefits you

Falling in love feels like rainbows and unicorns until it isn't. Love does not always mean happily ever after. That's for fairy tales, and this is real world. Love is sacrifice. Love is selfless. Love is pain, regret, and fear of the unknown. Love is getting high, falling off the cloud, and drowning in the middle of an ocean. Relationships only work when both parties realize this. You have to be willing to compromise. It requires maturity. Breakups happen because it didn't have enough audacity to make it through. They leave you torn and bleeding. You go to bed crying, beating yourself up, and wishing you could just be numb to it all. If you are honest with yourself, you can find the benefits to any breakup. What it taught you. That you can move on. 

Here are 5 reasons a brake up can be beneficial: 
1They teach you how to be alone.
Aloneness is not the same as being lonely. Aloneness is quality time with yourself; allowing you to nurture your soul, be footloose on a whim. Unearth new possibilities. You can sip an espresso at a busy cafĂ©, quietly observing those around you, and feel content. It feels guiltless to not partake in conversation, letting your mind wander and soaking in the atmosphere. 

2. You learn to be whole as a half.
You cannot feel whole only when you are giving yourself away. Once that person leaves, what's left? Of course you're going to feel torn when they're gone, they've seized apart of you. And you let them. Being whole as a single means searching for the missing pieces, and creating new ones for the ones you can't fix. You can have independence for yourself while in a relationship. If you don't, then maybe you are not ready for the relationship. 

3. You can rebuild.
If you feel as if you've hit rock bottom, the only way to go is up. You have to make the choice to move on, rebuild, and become stronger than before. A mistake made is pointless if not learned from. The building stage is a perfect time to implement things like a workout program, achieve goals, take on something that will challenge you. You will be able to look back at how you've grown, and smile because you've  built something out of what seems like nothing. But it was always there. You couldn't see it before because you weren't paying attention to yourself. 

4. How to depend on yourself.
The only person responsible for your happiness is you. Period. It is up to you to do what makes your spirit soar, the adrenaline pump beneath your skin. Why would you let anyone else dictate
how you feel? You call the shots when it comes to your emotions. 

5. Be more grateful for those who stayed.
You realize just how blessed you are to have your family, and your best friends. They gave you a shoulder to cry on, a few kind words, and told you everything is going to be ok. They restored faith that not everyone slips away. They are with you through beginning, middle, and another new beginning. A break up is not the end to your book, but an end to your chapter. So turn the page and continue reading.